Long time no bloggy

I know I haven't written in what feels like forever. It's been a bit chaotic around here. J and I went away for a mini-break to celebrate our first wedding anniversary (will post pics when ever I find the camera/computer cable, or better yet, the camera...). It was absolutely beautiful out in Williamstown, MA. Our suite was gorgeous too. ::sigh::

We have been semi moved in with the in-laws for a few days now and it's not terrible but certainly not great. It's crowded. It felt better while J was still on vacation but today is his first day back at work and I miss him. Currently I am alone but my FIL will be home shortly, then my BIL and finally at around 7 my MIL and J (they carpooled). I wish everyone came home around 7, except J of course. I know it is only temporary but still...there are tears.

I wish we would hurry up and hear from Suffolk regarding J's application, our lives are kind of hanging in the balance until we have a direction. Let's see...what else is new? 

We had our visit with the RE and though I'm not her biggest fan I think she can help. J needs to schedule a semen analysis soon and I have to schedule 2 tests but I can't call until the first day of my period so I have about a month provided I actually get one next cycle.

I also called and made an appointment with a therapist. I need one, especially after having moved in here. :) I am going in on Monday. I'll let you know how that goes. 

Well I should get on with the un-packing. This is easier as most things go into storage. I'll post pics soon once I find that cable and camera...

RSC

We now have an appointment with a RE for Thursday the 21st at 10:30AM. A 2 HOUR appointment. Know what we were doing last year at that time? Waiting to meet with our photographer for our Honeymoon shoot at the Magic Kingdom. My what changes a year can bring!

So yes that is the latest. MRI this thursday, CT on the 19th, and RE on the 21st. I got a fun-filled week and half ahead of me. :(

WTF

Ok so apparently I don't have Cushings and they think my symptoms lean more towards PCOS. WTF people, we already ruled that one out and even IF that is what I ACTUALLY have I can't fucking take the medication for it!!! I have been on Metformin, twice and you know what??? It makes me sick, extremely sick, so sick to the point that I can't even get up to the recommended dosage. WTF!? I think they are wrong....

Of course I am FINALLY being recommended to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I'll call her office first thing Monday morning. I am sooooo irritated right now. J is telling me to relax since he figures stressing out right now won't help me get and/or stay pregnant. ::Sigh:: Trying to stay positive on that front as well.  

It's so hard...why does it all have to be so hard?

tick tock tick tock

I wonder if there is an age where you are supposed to hear your biological clock ticking. Not that I haven't been hearing it (hell I have wanted to have J's babies ever since I knew I'd marry him!) but now it is keeping me up at night! I'm supposed to ovulate this weekend...I haven't tested yet, I am planning on it tomorrow when I get up. I'm scared though. I have been feeling quite positive about myself reproductively lately. I got an actual period, blood work's been looking good, the ultrasound was clean... I took the Clomid. I am just really thinking this could be our month. (Timing would be awful so it would stand to reason...) I'm afraid to test because what if deep down I really know it will be negative. I should be getting a mail packet soon with all the info on my referral for the R.E so I am moving in the right direction..I just don't want to go through all this aggravation. Why can't it be easier? I see/ know too many people who wind up pregnant by accident who really shouldn't even be parents. I know I should be that judgmental but lets be honest here, some people should not be allowed to have children. Honestly, there should be some kind of examination you hae to pass in order to keep your reproductive rights and if you fail, sterilization. (Ahh if only I ruled the world, lol)

Oh well....some day.