No news is...

NOT good news, it's freakin annoying as all hell! (Had to get that out...)

I have yet to get the results for Cushing's and my Pcp didn't have them either. Greeeat. He said they were too slow so now I am scheduled for a Cat Scan of my abdomen as well as an MRI. Hooray! I also have to see the Diabetic nurse as I am pre-diabetic and we need to wrangle this...

Of course the pre-diabetic is due to the weight gain and the weight gain is due to the "couldpossiblybecushingsbutwedon'tknowbecausetheendocrinologistisslowerthanfuckinmolasses!"

I can't win. I asked my pcp to recommend a therapist of some sort and he asked why I thought I needed one. (Keep in mind this is the doctor of my husband's family, everyone in the family) I said I had issues dealing with all this as well as stress and my life was about to get a whole lot more stressful. He asked me how and I said that in a few weeks I'd be moving back in with my MIL. He smiled and said "Let me get that card for you.."

Hmph

So that is where I am at right now.

The phone interview went well today. I have a face to face interview scheduled for Monday at 2pm. It might be an interesting atmosphere though the pay is not fabulous but right now...I need something to get us by. So, wish me luck.

Met with an Endo today, a new one. Since my MIL got me in with my new PCP he has appointments lined up through April. This guy was young and extremely nice. I liked him a lot, which is good since I rarely like anyone. :) He took about 5 tubes of blood to rule out some thigs. I also have a take home saliva test. The big thing we want to rule out is Cushing's Syndrome. He said if everything comes back and it looks good he will refer me to a Reproductive Endo to deal with the other issues. He also prescribed me an intense Vitamin D supplement as I am apparently kinda deficient.
That's all for updates for now. I got some dishes to wash and dinner to start soon. Such is the life of a housewife...

Oh hai, remember me?

I truly am awful at this. I say I'll blog and then I'm never here. I don't know why it stays with me, I'm like a bad boyfriend. One of these days I'll try to sign on and it just won't be here anymore. It would serve me right too. Oh well. Want to know how I bad I've been? Well February has been an extremely productive month. That car we went to look at? Bought it. Have I posted a picture? Nope. Will I? Let's not even go there...
We also added an addition to our family. (No I'm not pregnant gee thanks for reminding me and making me feel like a failure! Sheesh!) We adopted another cat. One and a half year old Darwin. Shadow is not thrilled with him despite Dar being IN LOVE with Shadow. I mean head over heels (paws?!). He looks for him, chasses him, tries to play with him, kisses his head when Shadow is sleeping and tries to snuggle up to his back. That last one only occurs when Shadow is out cold, otherwise it would never happen. It can't if he is aware. I think Shadow regards Dar for what he is, an annoying little brother. Darwin thinks they're playing while Shadow is bopping him on the head and hissing. There's no blood shed so I'm not worrying. Shadow talks tough but this is the first time in 16 years he's figured out he can hiss. :)

Yeah I know, I suck for not posting pictures. Maybe there will be a special post just for pics.

Maybe

Work is work. It's been crazy and annoying. I'm currently supposed to be filing out a profile to help them get me into a better position. There is nothing on these papers that says husband becomes HUGE success and Ashley resorts to 1950's mother and housewife. :( Hmph. (Hell I'd just be happy with the mother bit...) In all seriousness this thing is fuckin hard and I'm taking a break because I was crying out of sheer frustration. (I know I KNOW I am way to fuckin hormonal. Which is a hoot because according to the last lab results I have extremely high testosterone for a girl. Shouldn't I be immune to crying at the drop of a hat? Hah And wait till I find the fucker who keeps dropping his hat....) So yes, profile=evil pile of death papers and Ashley feels like a reject with no marketable skills.

Moving on...

After last Endo visit we learned that I am apparently insulin resistant which means I get to go back on Metformin the evil little pills that make me live in the bathroom. I'm waiting to hear back from my Gyno about this. There has to be another way. I was told the only way to neutralize the high testosterone would be to go on BC. Uhhh moron (Endo) I WANT to get pregnant, not PREVENT it. Asshat. (I've always wanted to say that!! {type that?!} It feels better than douchebag I think...thoughts?)

Fuck them all I say. I'm heading to new territory and by that I mean new docs. My MIL has one in mind so we'll see how that goes. He's a fab diagnostician apparently and since I hate my PCP this seems like a good place to start. If I like him then he can recommend the other docs I need.

I think I may have officially caught up with this thing! Score!! Now leave me some comments to make me feel loved. Leave some!!



Please?

Long time

Work has been kicking my ass...I am so freakin exhausted I never have time to update anymore! Sorry!!! Ok so where did I leave off?? Ah yes, the Endo visit was Wednesday. The Dr tried to tell me that he wasn't the guy for me to see. Ummm no... He said my thyroid was within the normal limits and then he asked if he could examine me. Guess what? My thyroid is enlarged. Hmmmm 

He asked if he could do a bunch f blood tests and I agreed. I have a follow up on the 9th so rather than drive myself crazy and speculate here I'll just wait.

.....

Work is hard. I have an extremely demanding job and the other day I had my first peson call back specifically to yell at me. Then o try and shake it off I called another person to try and help them..they got nasty too. My hormones are so screwed up what did I do? Burst right into tears!! Talk about embarrassing!! No one blamed me of course as I am still new and this was the first time but jeez...people are so dumb. Overall it was just a tough week. Luckily they hired my assistant and she should be starting this week.

Last night I had dinner with Imommy. Had a good time, it was great to be out without the guys. This might have to be a tradition. ;) I'm also trying to get a karaoke night together as she has never been to a bar OR karaoke. Some of my girlfriends are down so I'll see about organinzing that...

Let's see what else?

Today J, mom and I went to Chipotles for burritos and then to the Museum of Science. Spent a few hours there and had a good time. Then we decided it is time to get another cat. I have heard/read that when you have an older cat and plan on getting another it can be a god idea to have their times overlap so the n00b can learn from the older one. So....that's the plan. If anyone knows of any kittens who need a home or young-ish kitties, let me know. We had dinner at one of our fave places, Floramos over in Chelsea by my mom's. Seriously huge portions, AMAZING food and great prices. Go there if you haven't.

Later we went to pick up some Blue Moon and discovered there spring ale is out, Rising Moon. It's ok, but I find nothing is as good as the original. there was also a beer tasting in the back of the local liquor store. FUN. We tried some things that were good and also some that should never pass through human lips again. All in all a day full of win. We just finished Get Smart off netflix and knocked back a few beers (I'm not pg nor am I even ovulating so I'm going to live it up!) and that brings me to this update. J is currently in our office on the big Mac (hehe I so went there) researching cars and prices because tmw we have an appt to go look at the 2009 ford focus. It's time for Baby to get a new car!! Sweet!

I'll let ya know how that goes. Now despite this possibly being TMI, I'm feeling a bit frisky and want a piece of my husband! Ciao!!!

Weekend Update

So it would seem that I have 0 time. I never update this thing anymore. I miss it. Sundays appear to be my only days where I think to myself:gee, I have a second to think AND type". I'm currently parked on the couch watching the snow an awaiting breakfast. My husband is making me bacon and eggs*

(by eggs I mean egg beaters...)

We've just finished watching season 1 of "How I Met You Mother". This show is hysterical, "legendary" one might say. I really should get up and start the laundry...but I figure I have time. Judging by the amount of snow that is falling and its speed, I'll be inside all day. So much for he gym. ::sigh:: If only I could muster the energy. 

I have my Endo appointment next week. Wish me luck! I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. I feel as though big things are happening. J is making decisions regarding law school, work is moving very quickly for me, I could be getting healthier by the end of next week...

So we shall see. Next Sunday I won't be so carefree. I have to attend a baby shower.

...

Yeah. It's for my cousin's fiancee(if they EVER get married. Not his first kid OR first fiancee mind you...) and one I feel extremely awkward because I have only met this girl once but also I'll be uncomfy for other reasons. SO I plan on lugging this large impressive camera and shooting all day so no one will see my face and gawd forbid any tears. 

It looks as if my brunch has arrived.

Peace!

Working Stiff...

I got a job! I'm the new Admin at R.L Steven's and Associates in Waltham. Check out their website. www.interviewing.com

Not bad huh?

It'll help pay the bills. ;) 

Shadow is NOT happy with me out all day. He mouthes off as soon as he hears my key in the door. It's cute in an extremely annoying sort of way. It's ok though, I miss him too. :) I do love that he begins to purr as soon as he hears me call him baby. So cute!

In other news there is still no sign of AF. I had some very minor pink streaking two days ago but a pt on the fly revealed another BFN, which I suspected. I wouldn't have tested again but when the tests are only a buck...what the hell right?

Still no Af signs. This is something to bring up with the Endo so I'm sorta glad I haven't gotten it. I hope I don't so he will see exactly what I have been dealing with.

Well, time for dinner. Heading to Fridays. Ciao!

You ready for this?

::sigh:: It'll come as no surprise that today AF is due. I have no AF and no symptoms. One might ask if I am pregnant, after all, it IS possible right? Wrong!! I POS this morning and received a BFN. That would be the 2nd one for this cycle if anyone is keeping count. I'm saddened but I also think I have the reason figured out and that makes me Angry!!! You ready? This will be similar to one of my last entries only with more detail.

Back when the periods went on hiatus and my weight sky rocketed the doctors assumed I had PCOS. Not a test was done but I was put on Metformin. It made me sick, and I mean really really sick. Eventually an ultrasound was done and cysts were seen, so I was told. I lost health insurance and therefore stopped looking for an answer to my problems.. After J and I got married I regained health insurance and began looking for answers again. My period is still screwy (amidst a bunch of other issues) and I couldn't drop the weight despite valiant efforts. My Pcp as well as my Gyno tested my thyroid and both said it was normal. OK. Fast forward to Christmas Eve and a friend of mine is telling me that her daughter has similar issues to mine ( had trouble losing weight, sever mood swings, couldn't sleep, no sex drive and inability to orgasm, migraines...) The doctors kept telling her that her thyroid was fine. She sought an Endocrinologist and he said her thyroid was not normal and that Pcp's can't read the test results correctly. They lump in a bunch of numbers and call them "normal" when in actuality certain variations mean different things. Great.... Well anyway she was put on medication and everything has improved, she even lost 67lbs! There is a marked difference in her moods too. So I got curious and looked up Endocrine on Wikipedia. Check out the section titled : Table of endocrine glands and secreted hormones

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endocrine

EVERYTHING and I mean *EVERYTHING* that I have an issue with is connected to the Endocrine system. I never knew. I am livid that not one doctor I ever had suggested I see a specialist. No they just dismiss me. Honestly you people get paid way to much fucking money to dismiss people! I have been miserable for years when I could have been getting treated. I was miserable with how I looked on my wedding day because I knew in my heart it wasn't me and it wasn't my fault. I could have been getting help. I'm just so frustrated. It's also linked to ovulation...everything! 

My Pcp was fine with giving me the referral but the earliest appointment I could get with the Endo was January 28. I'm so impatient I want to start getting better now!

Thanks for listening. 

Deck the halls with OPK's fa la la la la la la la DAMN!

AF is due on the 31st, so a few days away and I don't have any symptoms yet. Not surprising though since I'm usually never on time. I'm soooo sick of testing with OPK's but I figure if AF is late then O might be too, again if the tests actually work. So, despite my severe moodiness, no symptoms. I've been wicked tired but no sore breasts. I've also had minor cramping where I assume my ovaries are and also a lot of lower back pain. But I have other issues so who knows what these are from. A friend of mine recommended I see an Endocrinologist because all of my issues would seem to be linked to my thyroid. My PCP has checked it and says it is normal, but apparently PCP's can't read them correctly and to them what appears normal an Endo will see a nuance that makes it not so normal. Hmph, and here I was trusting that my PCP knew what he was doing! More and more I feel like he just passes the buck and doesn't do squat. (Hence the sending me to a psychiatrist for my headaches without testing me or having me see a neurologist first-Jerk!) Anyway, so she saw an Endo and they gave her a prescription that improved her moods, helped her menstrual cycle, and also helped her shed 67lbs!! Now if I lost 67lbs I'd weight under 100lbs which would not be good, but if I could get to that 115-120lb range again I'd be thrilled!! Speaking of which there is a gym within walking distance from our house that I plan on signing up for asap. I liked going (despite NEVER seeing results) but I hated the effort ot took to get in the car and drive all the way over to wherever the gym I attended was at. This will be a piece of cake! (rice cake that is..*grumble grumble*) So monday I plan on emailing my PCP and requesting a referral to an Endo. He better not give me hell or I will LOSE.MY.SHIT! (Seriously, I'm sick of running around trying to figure out wtf is wrong with me. I know something is and we pay you asswipes far too much for you NOT to do anything right!)

On a side note I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas or Happy Whatever You Celebrate with your near and dear. :) I cooked like a madwoman here and was met with rave reviews. I planned on taking photos of the spread but never got a chance and everything went so quickly! Of course all I could think was how hard it would have been to do all I did either pregnant or with a small child running around. Eeks! Lol Someday.

Now I am off to run some errands and hope for some other symptoms either of AF so I can start trying again or other such symptoms. ;)